Introducing; The Wee Retreat

"Mindfulness is one of those things that is tricky to put into words. We like to think that being mindful is a bit like playing hide and seek… the part that when you are hiding, listening to someone counting down and then coming to find you! At that moment you are aware of the sounds around you, looking out for the person coming, feeling your heartbeat in your chest and experiencing each moment as it unfolds. You are not wanting to change anything about that moment or judging what is happening; at that moment you are fully present. This is being mindful."

I have dabbled on and off with mindfulness for a few years now; I have done a few group meetups along the way, downloaded a few apps and attended a couple of work courses, but nothing has quite helped make it into the habit I would like it to be. Like many, I think it just became something added to a list of 'to do' that then just niggles at you as you haven't actually done it! Fast forward to now and spending all my time with Arthur I am definitely aware that I haven't found a moment to be just me, take a little snap of time just for myself and switch off a little. When the chance to team up with the lovely Vicky at The Wee Retreat came along I knew it was just what I was needing.

Starting at the end of this month and based in Cathcart Parish Church in Glasgow's Southside, The Wee Retreat is an 8 week course in mindfulness that is designed to give people a sense of peace- exactly what I am after. MIndfulness meditation has been shown to reduce anxiety and stress while serving as a tool that can be used in everyday life and that is exactly what the course aims to do. Vicky is keen to show people the different forms mindfulness can take and help establish it within our routines. Having taken Mindfulness up herself a few years back for the same reasons I am keen to try it now, she wanted to find that escape from a hectic and busy life and make time for herself while learning a new skill. A mother of 2 and an educational psychologist on the side, She is really passionate about introducing people to the practice in a variety of ways; by running retreats, 1:1 classes; group sessions and more. She is even running mindfulness parenting classes which is something I am keen to look into after as I can already tell I am going to need all the help and calm that I can get! Being patient isn't a quality of mine and I know how much I am going to need to survive the toddler years...

Even just a quick meeting with Vicky allowed me to remember the importance of taking time for myself, to connect and feel calm as life really can feel so hectic all the time, so I am super excited to see how the full retreat is. I am hoping to be able to reconnect with myself a little and allow myself to be present in the moment much more. I cant be the only one whose mind instantly races to their to do list instead of just enjoying things as they are? I feel sad sometimes lying playing with Arthur but the back of my mind is running down my huge to do checklist instead of really focusing, so I hope The Wee Retreat can help just that.

“Meditation is having a full-blooded, authentic experience of ourselves as we are, being able to observe ourselves and accepting everything, absolutely everything about ourselves.”

-       Suryacitta Malcolm Smith

 I will be sharing my thoughts after each Saturday class over on my instagram so keep an eye out on there for updates. I will post a review after completing the course too, but if you fancy joining me on it there is still time to sign up. tickets are available here.

BumpH2T: The Third Trimester

I still can't quite believe I am even writing about a third trimester, there were so many days I was pretty sure this wasn't going to happen so it still feels surreal.My second trimester update seems so long ago, I actually had to go back and see what all happened then! The time between the 20 week scan and now has felt like an eternity but I guess at this point I have been actually pregnant for the majority of a year when I think about the months I was pregnant before. I am happy to report that from around week 25ish onwards alot of my PTSD symptoms started to subside thanks to a lot of talking, posting here and just being incredible gentle with myself. It has been a pretty uphill struggle through the first two trimesters so it was nice to hit this one with a bit more excitement and enthusiasm for what is ahead. The bump finally crept in a bit more by Christmas time which definitely helped me connect more with what was going on, and since January it has grown full force and there is no ignoring it now!

excitedly cracking into the baby box that we are lucky to receive!

Even with my anterior placenta in the way I feel bubs kick and move a lot more now and without a doubt that has helped me quite a bit. We don't feel her/him as much as we might do but there is a fairly regular pattern that has emerged that I look forward to everyday.Ally is OBSESSED by going hunting for baby, it is pretty adorable. he gets so excited when he finds the right spot at the right time and gets big boot to his hand, not that he has to do much to get movement, the baby is obsessed by the sound of his voice!! We had one trip to the hospital very late at night thanks to a lack of movement which was pretty unnerving thanks to past experiences but all was well and hpefully will continue that way until the end.

it's a....doll.

Symptoms wise things have changed a lot in week 30 onwards, I  had to finally give in and stop walking to work around week 34 as 4 miles a morning was absolutely too much for my pelvis and resulted in some lovely SPD which I am battling through. I have a maternity belt that I wear in the daytime though which is hopefully doing something other than making me look even bulkier :)

My appetitie is back to being all over the place and the need for cakes and biscuits, and randomly, fizzy drinks- is pretty intense. I am definitely far more tired in the last couple of weeks ( week 37 as I type this) and I can tell the need to wind down a bit is kicking in and without a doubt I am now at the PEEING ALL THE DAMN TIME stage, which I had hoped was a myth.

We started our hospital antenatal classes which are a bit comical thanks to the ancient crumbling baby they have to use to demonstrate with, every time it is touched actual sawdust blows out its shoulder and I can feel Ally shaking beside me ( although as you can see above, he is pretty taken with that poor baby!)!! We have chosen to go out to the Midwife Unit in Paisley for the birth, if all goes well up until there. Moving my care from the hospital we lost the last baby in, has been such a good move for us and really helped me actually look forward to going in. The Team there are so phenomenal and their approach to birth is not something I thought I would find. we have been lucky to get on the free hypnobirthing course out there, and are offered accupuncture and aromatherapy too which is fun. The last few weeks feel pretty jam packed with classes and appointments to make as well as workshops at my midwife clinic for breastfeeding and labour physio- so much to take in! 

   A glimpse into the antenatal classes for you

  I feel like I haven't stopped since Christmas,between a trip to London and fitting in as many people as possible seeing as time might be a bit tighter for the next few months, it has been loads of fun. At the same time fitting in all the super tedious life admin and still building in breaks to sit down and re carb load has been pretty difficult so I am keen to try and make some time for me in the last wee while. I am finishing up at work this week which feels incredibly surreal and pretty sad. I am so glad to be going off to do what I am, but I cant help but have FOMO for the workplace and I guess I am a bit nervous about losing certain elements of myself even though it is only temporary!

There will no doubt be another update to this trimester as with 3 weeks to go ( or up to 5 of course!) I am pretty intrigued what all will continue to change. With the bump taking such a big growth spurt in the last 2 weeks I am fully prepared to need to be craned to hospital at the end....

After taking no shots of the bump I thought I better for this post!

I am trying to remain calm, excited and positive about the weeks ahead and what all might happen and so far it is going ok. I have my moments and we have both thought alot about this time last year and the kinds of dates we are coming towards which can be incredibly sad, but it is a reminder of how lucky we are to be in this stage now. If everyone could keep their fingers, toes and whatever else you have available crossed for us....that would be fab!

BumpH2T: The Third Trimester

I still can't quite believe I am even writing about a third trimester, there were so many days I was pretty sure this wasn't going to happen so it still feels surreal.My second trimester update seems so long ago, I actually had to go back and see what all happened then! The time between the 20 week scan and now has felt like an eternity but I guess at this point I have been actually pregnant for the majority of a year when I think about the months I was pregnant before. I am happy to report that from around week 25ish onwards alot of my PTSD symptoms started to subside thanks to a lot of talking, posting here and just being incredible gentle with myself. It has been a pretty uphill struggle through the first two trimesters so it was nice to hit this one with a bit more excitement and enthusiasm for what is ahead. The bump finally crept in a bit more by Christmas time which definitely helped me connect more with what was going on, and since January it has grown full force and there is no ignoring it now!

excitedly cracking into the baby box that we are lucky to receive!

Even with my anterior placenta in the way I feel bubs kick and move a lot more now and without a doubt that has helped me quite a bit. We don't feel her/him as much as we might do but there is a fairly regular pattern that has emerged that I look forward to everyday.Ally is OBSESSED by going hunting for baby, it is pretty adorable. he gets so excited when he finds the right spot at the right time and gets big boot to his hand, not that he has to do much to get movement, the baby is obsessed by the sound of his voice!! We had one trip to the hospital very late at night thanks to a lack of movement which was pretty unnerving thanks to past experiences but all was well and hpefully will continue that way until the end.

it's a....doll.

Symptoms wise things have changed a lot in week 30 onwards, I  had to finally give in and stop walking to work around week 34 as 4 miles a morning was absolutely too much for my pelvis and resulted in some lovely SPD which I am battling through. I have a maternity belt that I wear in the daytime though which is hopefully doing something other than making me look even bulkier :)

My appetitie is back to being all over the place and the need for cakes and biscuits, and randomly, fizzy drinks- is pretty intense. I am definitely far more tired in the last couple of weeks ( week 37 as I type this) and I can tell the need to wind down a bit is kicking in and without a doubt I am now at the PEEING ALL THE DAMN TIME stage, which I had hoped was a myth.

We started our hospital antenatal classes which are a bit comical thanks to the ancient crumbling baby they have to use to demonstrate with, every time it is touched actual sawdust blows out its shoulder and I can feel Ally shaking beside me ( although as you can see above, he is pretty taken with that poor baby!)!! We have chosen to go out to the Midwife Unit in Paisley for the birth, if all goes well up until there. Moving my care from the hospital we lost the last baby in, has been such a good move for us and really helped me actually look forward to going in. The Team there are so phenomenal and their approach to birth is not something I thought I would find. we have been lucky to get on the free hypnobirthing course out there, and are offered accupuncture and aromatherapy too which is fun. The last few weeks feel pretty jam packed with classes and appointments to make as well as workshops at my midwife clinic for breastfeeding and labour physio- so much to take in! 

   A glimpse into the antenatal classes for you

  I feel like I haven't stopped since Christmas,between a trip to London and fitting in as many people as possible seeing as time might be a bit tighter for the next few months, it has been loads of fun. At the same time fitting in all the super tedious life admin and still building in breaks to sit down and re carb load has been pretty difficult so I am keen to try and make some time for me in the last wee while. I am finishing up at work this week which feels incredibly surreal and pretty sad. I am so glad to be going off to do what I am, but I cant help but have FOMO for the workplace and I guess I am a bit nervous about losing certain elements of myself even though it is only temporary!

There will no doubt be another update to this trimester as with 3 weeks to go ( or up to 5 of course!) I am pretty intrigued what all will continue to change. With the bump taking such a big growth spurt in the last 2 weeks I am fully prepared to need to be craned to hospital at the end....

After taking no shots of the bump I thought I better for this post!

I am trying to remain calm, excited and positive about the weeks ahead and what all might happen and so far it is going ok. I have my moments and we have both thought alot about this time last year and the kinds of dates we are coming towards which can be incredibly sad, but it is a reminder of how lucky we are to be in this stage now. If everyone could keep their fingers, toes and whatever else you have available crossed for us....that would be fab!