I have been so quiet on here, on social media, and to be
honest in real life too. Going back to work full time and navigating Arthur’s
toddlerdom has been super hectic and juggling it all has not been easy. When
you throw in this latest news and the crippling exhaustion and nausea that goes
with it, will then you can imagine I have managed very little. Ally and I are
cautiously optimistic to be having another baby in January next year and If you have been on these pages for a while
you will know our history with infertility, IVF and miscarriage makes pregnancy
a hard journey. It is difficult to trust the process and it can be hard for
others around you to understand your approach to it, so we have been keeping
our heads down and trying to survive as best we can as we waited for some
reassurance that things were as they should be.
We were shocked enough to even be in this situation again. We
were never sure if we would be lucky enough to get to try again or if we were
going to go back into the IVF world, so to even be at this stage is a huge
moment for us that we are still getting our heads around. I think I have always
been a bit wary of being pregnant again, not just because of all the general
fear about miscarriage and everything that comes with that, but because I have
always had this lingering feeling of how
you survive caring for one (or more)
children while being pregnant. It has
always struck me that no one really pays much attention to mothers not on their
first pregnancy, like somehow the 'specialness' of the moment is not quite as
magic this time around, and they just get on and struggle through with an even bigger workload
than before. Not true in all situations of course but just a general impression
I have gotten from watching it happen across the years and I was a little
hesitant as I entered into it myself. There is a lot to get my head around
going back into this, how it feels to go back off work when I just settled
back? How to do another maternity year when perhaps the first one wasn’t for
me? What is going to happen to my body in the long run after another baby? How
on earth do I manage two of them??
None of this takes away of course from how unbelievably
lucky we feel currently to be back in this situation but these are real
questions that come to my mind no matter how much we wanted to grow our family,
and with the general approach of ‘ they know what they are doing now’ it does
feel a little under discussed.
The first trimester has been a blur of extreme exhaustion
and permanent intense nausea which has, as expected, been really difficult
while trying to be present for Arthur. Ally has been an unreal support, picking up
even more of the slack than he usually does to keep us all afloat. I am 22 weeks now and I am able to eat more than plain carbs
( by the truckload) but still feeling incredibly tired and incapable of getting
much done which is hard when there is still a lot to juggle. Fingers crossed I
see that promised second trimester burst of energy sometime soon…..!!
So that has been life lately and once again the blog has
taken its usual back seat as life goes on around it. I will be back with
updates but mostly over on Instagram again as I attempt to keep up with Arthurs
admirable yet insane energy. Welcoming all good thoughts and encouragement that
this one is here to join us in January, now to train Arthur to not throw
EVERYTHING small and within reach…
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